Editor’s Note: This is a Devotional Honorable Mention from CBE’s 2025 Writing Contest. Enjoy!
One way to define mutuality is the act in which two or more people have the same feelings for each other, leading to the same actions. The Cambridge Dictionary defines mutuality as the “behaviour in which two or more people or groups feel the same emotion or do the same thing for each other.”[1] Mutuality is an act of giving and receiving of feelings; it is a give-and-take, which can be referred to as shared feelings and shared actions.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. (1 Corinthians 13:1–17)
The Apostle Paul writes to the church in Corinth to address the issue of the most important spiritual gift, and in doing so, Paul makes it clear that love is the most important quality of life given to us by God. If we are to effectively talk about mutuality, it needs to be framed within the context of love. For feelings to be mutual and shared equally between two or more people, male and female, husband and wife, family and community, it must be rooted in love. The kind of love we are referring to in the context of our discussion is the love God rooted and demonstrated through Jesus Christ.
Why? Because wherever there is love, there will be no crime, abuse, gender-based violence, racism, oppression of women, injustice, and all the challenges facing human relationships and co-existence. Sin is essentially a lack of love. Paul helps us to see that love is the supreme and ultimate good of human relationships, and that mutuality will be effectively practiced when we make the love of God a priority in our hearts and minds.
In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul offers us practical ways we can practice love that can help us enjoy and experience mutuality:
- Love is patient (verse 4). This is the ability to accept people’s shortcomings and flaws. It is also the ability to be forbearing. As we daily live, interact, fellowship, and commune with people, we need to be patient with them because we may not be in the same place in life. We have different backgrounds, exposures, and behaviours. Our ability to be patient with people reveals our growth and maturity.
- Love is kind (verse 4). This is the ability to be friendly, generous, and considerate. It is also the ability to be polite to one another. Paul admonished us in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Our acts of kindness reveal how gracious and large-hearted we are.
- Love is not envious, boastful, or arrogant (verse 4). To be envious is to be resentful and unhappy about other people’s progress. Envy has the power to destroy mutuality and relationships. For instance, the relationship between Cain and Abel was destroyed because of envy (Gen. 4:1–8). To be boastful is to be full of pride and self-satisfaction in one’s achievements and abilities.
Boastful people tend not to depend on others. They may feel they have everything figured out and don’t need the contribution and input of anyone else. The Pharisees and Sadducees in the New Testament are examples of this. To be arrogant is the attitude of having an exaggerated sense of importance in oneself or one’s abilities.
Once we approach any relationship with these attitudes, having the same feelings among two or more people is difficult because two arrogant people do not have the capacity to create room for peace. - Love is not rude (verse 5). To be rude is to have bad manners. Bad manners are very destructive to mutuality. Rudeness makes people harsh, always in disagreement and dispute. Rude people are not kind or gracious with their words and actions. They have the tendency to be proud and arrogant. Pride and arrogance have the power to destroy relationships.
- Love is not resentful (verse 5). To be resentful is to express bitterness in relationships. Bitterness in any given relationship will cause frustration; it is destructive to mutual relationships. Resentful people are not happy people, and there is nothing anyone can do to make them happy. In Luke 15:1–30, the older brother acted resentfully over the treatment given to his found younger brother. Instead of rejoicing over his brother’s return, he was busy expressing bitterness because of the warm reception his father gave to his brother. Beware, it is difficult for relationships to thrive in a resentful environment. Resentment is like a poison that spreads and builds toxic behaviours and attitudes in relationships.
- Love rejoices with the truth (verse 6). This is the ability to celebrate truth. The act of celebrating truth promotes and advances relationships. It creates mutuality and gives people the ability to share the same feelings with others. Truth is a builder of relationships. The act of rejoicing and celebrating truth builds confidence to be open, transparent, and vulnerable with one another. The more we are open, honest, and transparent in our relationships, the more we grow stronger and deeper in relationships. The more we grow in relationship with one another, the more trust we build and gain.
- Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things (verse 7). To bear all things is to tolerate and to accept people the way they are. To believe is to accept people without absolute proof. This is an act of taking the risk to trust people. Real mutual relationships require taking risks. The Lord Jesus Christ demonstrated that in the recruitment of all the disciples. The disciples had one thing or another that discredited them, yet they were recruited as disciples.
To endure all things is to have the willingness to go through pain or suffering for the sake of others. For any relationship to be great and impactful, there must be some level of sacrifice from everyone involved. Mutuality requires sacrifice and selflessness. The relationship that is not characterised by sacrifice and selflessness by everyone is no longer a mutual one, but a disconnected relationship. When people are disconnected from one another in any relationship, they will eventually not enjoy love, kindness, fellowship, and the joy of togetherness. The apostles in Acts, “were together and had everything in common” (Acts 2:44). This is an example of mutuality—a relationship where people demonstrate togetherness and have things in common. They share a common goal, vision, purpose, and action.
Mutuality Depends on Attitudes
The possibility of mutuality or mutual relationship depends on the attitudes and commitments of people involved in any given relationship, whether that be a family, organization, or community. How we behave toward one another will determine the progress and outcome of our relationships; it will also determine whether we are promoting mutuality or working against mutuality. Paul gives us methods for evaluating ourselves on our contribution to mutuality.
We will conclude by taking an assessment of ourselves in the light of this devotion:
- What is this devotion saying that is important for me to hear at this stage of my life and ministry?
- In what ways is my life reflecting positive growth and promoting mutuality?
- What are 1–2 ways in which my life does not reflect mutuality?
- How am I emulating the spirit of love in your relationships? Am I patient, kind, humble, forgiving, honest, and self-sacrificial?
- What are the two best action steps I am willing to take to promote and foster mutuality in my relationships?
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Notes
[1]Cambridge Dictionary, s.v. “Mutuality,” accessed February 9, 2026, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/mutuality
Related Resources
The Image of God as a Statement of Mutuality: An Illustration
How Taking Turns Becomes Emotional Mutuality
How One Church Is Growing Toward Full Biblical Mutuality
Family and Mutuality with Rev. Dr. Emily McGowin