A few years ago, I had coffee with a woman new to our church. “Melody” had been part of a congregation where women were limited in preaching, teaching, and leading roles. After years in this environment, Melody found the teachings about women hindered her relationships with those in church leadership. This forced her to question her place in the church family and the things which God had put on her heart. She felt restrained, unable to move forward into what God had called her to do.
When she started attending our church, Melody was amazed to see female pastors and ministry leaders. She saw people serving according to their gifts, not according to their gender.
Melody was astonished by this new kind of freedom. “Finally,” she told me, “I feel like I can breathe.”
Our church provides a much better environment for women than many. As a non-denominational charismatic church whose members hold to a range of theological perspectives on women in leadership, we’re still on a journey toward complete mutuality. That said, two of our eight pastors are female. Women direct various ministries such as our Global Partners (missions) and our Dream Team (ministry volunteer teams). A woman acts as Prayer Captain and liaison to our church network. Women sometimes preach on Sunday mornings. They lead Bible studies and teach workshops to mixed groups. They dispense communion elements. Most importantly, their voices and opinions matter to our church leadership.
I say this to offer hope and encouragement. Even a church whose congregation represents a blend of biblical mutualism and complementarianism can be a place where women thrive in their gifts and flourish spiritually. A place where they can breathe.
Blossoming in Biblical Mutuality
My own story bears witness to the beauty of a church which continues to grow in mutuality.
I’ve enjoyed the occasional privilege of preaching on Sunday mornings, although I am not a pastor. I’ve been empowered to build and train a team of men and women who exercise the gift of prophecy (something we as Charismatics practice as a Spirit-inspired means of building others up). I recently presented my research-based curriculum on the gift of prophecy to our pastoral team and enjoyed how they sharpened my arguments with their questions and feedback.
They affirmed what I brought to the table, expressing how my teaching has benefited them personally as well as in their pastoral responsibilities. I feel respected, seen, and heard by my leaders. My contributions are taken seriously.
Even in my part-time job as a church office assistant, work feels like a group of friends tackling problems together rather than a top-down organization where people with hierarchical clout pressure the underlings to do their bidding. We’re serious about completing tasks with excellence and making sure we follow the instructions we’re given, but the work environment is fun.
Perhaps the church office represents a microcosm of the whole church as a healthy space for women. There’s no feeling of heavy-handed, power-wielding authority, but rather, cooperative teamwork.
Still, I continue to nurture a strong desire to see our church move into full biblical mutuality.
When I become impatient over this issue, it helps to remember how things once were—not just in my church, but in our entire church network.
A Work in Progress
Years ago, even the idea of women leading worship was frowned upon by the men in charge (and by some women). It took both men and women to start turning things around, one opportunity at a time. Back in the nineties, the man who was my pastor at the time was invited to lead worship at a leadership conference for the network. But worship-leading was his wife’s gift, not his own—so he stepped onto the platform, introduced her, and sat down. The dynamic time of worship my pastor’s wife led that night prompted many other powerful female worship leaders in our church network to begin exercising their gift.
These days, women don’t just lead worship. They preach at our conferences and annual church camps. Some have been ordained as pastors in their local churches. Yes, it has taken decades—but my own journey toward change didn’t take place overnight, either. In previous years, before I’d heard of the term “complementarian,” I unwittingly functioned as one. Commonly held teachings and best-selling Christian books on marriage and family shaped my thinking about male and female roles. It took some revelatory moments with the Holy Spirit, a willingness to face my fear of conflict, and trusted voices speaking into my life to help me see things differently. I know from my own process that change is challenging, but well worth the effort. I hope to help my local church, and our broader church network family continue to face and embrace change as well.
Letting Go and Taking On
Here’s how I appeal to the church as a whole in my book, Prophesying Daughters: How Prophetic Ministry and Women in Leadership Strengthen the Church: “Human virtues, spiritual gifts, and ministry callings are not gender specific…. Instead of centering men, sidelining women, and suppressing spiritual gifts, let’s lay aside prejudice and power plays to labor alongside one another as a Spirit-led company of sisters and brothers.”
For mutuality to become our default, people must be moved and empowered by the Holy Spirit to let go of cherished ideals and the false comfort they offer. Men must relinquish any sense of entitlement to make room for their sisters. Women must step into their responsibilities instead of letting all the weight fall on their brothers. Change involves shifting and adjusting, letting go and taking on, making room and stepping up. It’s a process which requires time, patience, and mutual respect. Growth comes when we truly see one another. When we esteem others more than ourselves.
When we love one another.
As the Holy Spirit convicts, reveals, and guides, I’m convinced we’ll see more and more women serving as leaders in our network and in my church specifically. We’ll gain a fuller picture which consistently includes women’s input, concerns, and insights. We’ll listen to, and learn from, women more than ever before. We’ll include women at every level of leadership.
Meanwhile, I’m grateful the needle is moving. I’m happy for the freedom which allows me to carry out my current ministry assignments from the Lord. And I look forward to the day when women can breathe so freely here, they forget about the air entirely.
Editor’s note: CBE’s review for Prophesying Daughters was published earlier this week—you can read it here. Prophesying Daughters is also available for purchase from the CBE Bookstore.
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