Let me tell you a little secret desire of mine, perhaps better stated as a hope.
A very important fact about me, one that directly influences who I am, how I spend much of my time, who become my friends (and enemies) and my relationship with God, is that I’m married.
My secret desire? I wish I could somehow let people know that I want to be “Mrs Hubert Hix”, or a similar salutation.
When you see “Mrs Julie Hix”, which my wife Julie prefers to “Ms”, you know there is a Mr Hix around somewhere and that hopefully, he’s an important part of her life. If I could have some form of address that showed I was married, I think it would be a great thing. Being married is one of the first things I want people to know about me. It’s one reason I wear a wedding ring. Sometimes I take a minute in my day to just look at it and smile – thirty six years it has been there!
“Ms” seems to me to edit a person down, just like “Mr” does. I know the objective is to not define women by their marital status. Personally, I would prefer to be defined by the fact that I am a married man. The problem is that women and marriage are both seen as somehow inferior or limiting.
I’ll tell you what I hope my great-nieces and great-nephews will see. A time when to be married or not married is to be seen as valued information about a person and not something which degrades them. Something which tells part of who they are. Words should give information, not hide it. Unfortunately, the day when marital status is good information is not here yet. Sometimes, even telling a person your gender can be a problem, and sadly…even in the church.
We have a long way to go, but by the grace of God, I believe we will eventually get there.
