Mutuality | Blog + Magazine | Spring 2010
The print + digital magazine of CBE International
Mutuality offers articles from diverse writers who share egalitarian theology and explore its intersection with everyday life.
Blog + Magazine ArticlesThe opinions expressed in these articles are those of the authors. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of CBE International or its members.
Spring 2010
Volume: 17 | Number: 1
The Dating Issue
Christian dating books are often filled with oversimplified advice that draws on cultural stereotypes about gender and describes them as God’s only way and intention for romantic relationships. This issue of Mutuality looks to dispel these myths provide a way to create relationships marked by grace, holiness, and the freedom.
Contents
Does the Bible really teach that men and women are truly opposites, with differing needs, desires, roles, and communication styles, as so many of these books argue? Are these gender stereotypes (which are clearly modeled after medieval concepts of chivalry or princess fairy tales) biblical and essential for godly relationships?
There is abundant evidence that God delights in godly initiation and godly submission of all his people. God’s Word never says it’s normative that men be the initiators and women the responders. It’s simply not in the Bible.
Many people today mourn the death of chivalry. However, if we consent to let it go, choosing instead to embrace Christlike servanthood, I very much suspect we will never even miss it.
Having questioned the formulaic approach of so many other relationship “experts,” what’s left for us to do? Perhaps a return to the universal principles found in Scripture and the conduct modeled by Jesus is in order.
If you’re looking for a beautiful model of an egalitarian relationship in the midst of a decidedly non-egalitarian culture, the love story of Angelina Emily Grimké (1805–1879) and Theodore Dwight Weld (1803–1895) is especially inspiring.
Instead of seeing marriage as a hierarchy, with a husband in authority over his submissive wife, we came to believe a wife and husband should be equals in marriage. For us, that meant making decisions together and both being wholeheartedly involved in the planning of our married life.
When culture values women and men equally, these very attitudes stem the abuse of women. What is more, when dollars are invested in women’s health, education, and businesses, we not only raise women’s standard of living, but that of their families and communities.
Truly, the most striking message from James' book is that Ruth is not just a lonely woman, in the way of modern romance movies, seeking love and matrimony to complete her happiness.
