Melanie had recently been hired to serve at a large church in a nearby town. In her second week at the church, the senior pastor asked her to partner with another pastor named Wayne to launch an outreach in an adjacent apartment complex.
Upon hearing this news, Melanie was instantly wary, and for good reason. Unfortunately, her previous assignment at a different church had been marked by a series of ministry partnerships with less-than-helpful men. As one of just a handful of women on her prior church’s leadership team, Melanie had felt a persistent need to prove herself and jockey for position. Everything felt like a battle for Melanie, a battle for resources, a battle to be heard, and even a battle for respect. Unsurprisingly, Melanie had left her previous ministry assignment wounded and burned out.
Thankfully, as they started working together, Melanie’s experience with Wayne felt like a breath of fresh air. Wayne was a patient listener and often expressed appreciation for Melanie’s contributions. One day, Melanie told Wayne about her prior experience and thanked him for welcoming her onto the team as a full partner.
In response, Wayne shared a bit of his own journey with Melanie. He told her about a woman who had mentored him years before in ministry, and he shared about some of the theological reflection he had done.
He reflected on how he had become aware of his misogynistic biases and was continually working to overcome them in order to respect women as equals. When he finished his story, Wayne looked at Melanie and replied, “I’m happy to have you as a partner in this ministry. After all, you’re my sister in Christ!”
Melanie and Wayne’s story illustrates the power of the biblical concept of sisters and brothers in Christ.[1] In this article, we contend that a robust embrace of this paradigm can move women and men from sibling rivalry to solidarity.[2] Further, we make the case that our faith communities will thrive as they more fully embody this biblical framework of sacred siblingship.[3]
We begin by describing the Bible’s use of the sacred siblings paradigm. Next, we articulate three foundational principles undergirding this theme in Scripture. Finally, we offer five steps that individuals and faith communities can take to live out the paradigm in greater measure.
The Sibling Metaphor in Scripture
The Bible often uses familial language to describe the nature of Christian fellowship, and that is particularly true with the siblingship. The Greek word adelphoi can be translated as “brothers” or “siblings” and it “probably comes from the Greek word delphys (womb): siblings come from the same womb.”[4]
In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Old Testament, the word adelphos appears several times. For instance, it appears in the first line of Psalm 133: “How very good and pleasant it is when adelphoi live together in unity!”[5] The evocative imagery in this psalm—overflowing oil running down Aaron the priest’s head and beard to the collar of his robe—describes the holistic unity that sibling relationships can enjoy as a blessing from the Lord.
In the New Testament, there is no greater proponent of the sacred sibling paradigm than the Apostle Paul. In the Epistles, Paul uses the Greek root adelpho “metaphorically 120 times . . . most frequently in 1 Corinthians.”[6] For Paul, adelphoi emblemizes the collective spiritual family of sisters and brothers, and it informs his theology of biblical community as exemplified in 2 Thessalonians 1:3: “We must always give thanks to God for you, adelphoi, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing.”
Perhaps Paul used adelphoi to describe Christians as sacred siblings because it mirrored the sibling bonds central to 1st-century Mediterranean life.[7] Of that ancient culture, Joseph Hellerman writes, “Clearly, for ancient Mediterranean persons, sibling solidarity and loyalty constitute the apex of intimate human relationships.”[8] Loyalty, solidarity, and fidelity were strongest among sisters and brothers, and the sibling bond took precedence in decisions regarding family loyalties.[9]
In sum, the sacred sibling paradigm is a theme that appears in both the Old and New Testament, and it is the primary way that the first church self-identified. Indeed, Paul and the early church may have modeled sibling bonds within the faith after what they saw in their personal familial experiences.
Three Features of the Sacred Sibling Paradigm
Three scriptural principles serve as a foundation for the sacred siblingship concept. First, sacred siblings have been adopted into a new spiritual family centered on Jesus. Second, love is to be the primary tie binding sacred siblings together. Third, the family is designed to be ever-expanding, with new siblings perpetually joining the family. We will examine these three principles in turn.
First, sacred siblings have been adopted into a new spiritual family centered on Jesus. As God’s children, we are not only “born again” into God’s family (John 1:12), but we are also adopted through the Holy Spirit, who grants us the right to call our heavenly Father “Abba” or “Papa” (Rom. 8:14–16). Pastor and author Max Lucado writes of the intimacy and intentionality of spiritual adoption: “God sought you. He searched you out. Before you knew you needed adopting, he’d already signed the papers (Rom. 8:29). What’s more, he covered the adoption fees (Gal. 4:5). The moment we accept his offer, we go from orphans to heirs. Heirs with a new name, new home, new life.”[10]
The family into which we have been adopted is centered around Jesus, who elevated the idea of a spiritual family in the presence of his mother and half-siblings in Mark 3:31–35 when he asked,“Who are my mother and my brothers?” Motioning to the disciples sitting at his feet, he answered his own question: “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” In his response, Jesus radically changed the definition of family to include spiritual siblings who are committed to him and his mission.
This reality that women and men are sacred siblings in Jesus’s spiritual family has a number of implications. Most notably, it calls us to treat siblings with dignity and respect, as Jesus did. In particular, we are to follow Jesus’s example of elevating the status of women, thus empowering women in our faith communities to experience the benefits of full sisterhood.[11]
Second, love should be the primary tie binding sacred siblings together. In one sense, love is to mark any human relationship. Speaking in John 13:34–35, Jesus says, “a new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”This commandment, which stands in sharp contrast to the rivalry that too often marks our relationships with one another, calls humanity to loving relationships in every context.[12]
And yet the Bible also clarifies the centrality of love in the specific context of sacred siblingships. For instance, the Apostle John connects love for God with love for spiritual siblings, writing in 1 John 4:21, “The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.” Reflecting on this command, one commentator notes, “love of God and love of our brothers and sisters are mutually dependent. Such love among Christians, together with love for God, who first loved us, separates the beloved community or church from the world.”
In thinking about love as the glue holding sacred siblingship relationships together, it is essential to clarify that Jesus is talking about an agape kind of love, which differs from feelings of romantic attraction.[13] Indeed, though it is not uncommon for women and men to experience attraction as they work together in ministry, one benefit of the sacred siblings’ paradigm is that it causes us to think of others first and foremost as siblings, not as potential romantic partners.
Finally, God’s family is designed to be forever expanding. Adopted into a new family and defined by love for one another, sacred siblings enter into God’s mission as full and equal partners, chasing together the central aim of adding new sisters and brothers in Christ.
Hebrews 2:12 reveals that an ever-expanding family of sacred siblings is precisely what God the Father had in mind in sending Jesus. Indeed, “Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters, saying, ‘I will proclaim your name to my brothers and sisters; in the midst of the congregation, I will praise you.’” This text reminds us that in Jesus’s incarnation, salvation was embodied by Jesus as our sacred sibling! Indeed, “through his pain, Jesus becomes a ‘brother’ to every other human being, and this is a radical theological point.”[14]
In God’s mercy, humanity is invited into siblingship with Jesus. All are welcome, and the task of the Christian is to share this radical news far and wide with the joyful expectation that God’s family will forever increase as new sisters and brothers are added to the kingdom community.
Becoming Sacred Siblings in Today’s Church
The Bible calls us into sibling relationships centered on Jesus, marked by love and forever expanding. How might faith communities embrace and embody this sacred sibling paradigm more fully? We have identified five concrete steps:
1. Ask God for the courage to intentionally build sacred sibling relationships.
As demonstrated above, God designed women and men to function in solidarity with one another as siblings in Christ. So, as communities journey toward greater solidarity, they would be wise to ask for God’s help. In particular, they can ask God for conviction to fully embrace the siblingship paradigm and to live it out in their communal life.
2. Study the Scriptures on this theme.
As noted above, the Bible has plenty to say on the topic of sacred siblingship. Focused theological reflection can help deepen a community’s conviction on this topic, thus opening the door to tangible changes in how the community operates. One good place to start could be reading and responding to this article as a community.
3. Intentionally pursue reconciliation wherever sibling rivalries exist.
As Melanie’s story illustrates, sibling rivalries can unfortunately be a reality in the family of God. In contrast, as Psalm 133 so vividly reminds us, the Scriptures call us to become a reconciled community. Working through disagreements and pursuing healing in a spirit of repentance is crucial work for women and men who aspire to treat one another as sacred siblings. For example, where sisters have experienced marginalization or abuse, loving brothers like Wayne can be allies in their healing.
4. Purposefully use sacred sibling terminology in their everyday interactions.
The simple act of choosing to refer to a colleague or ministry partner as a “sister” or a “brother” can help weave the sacred sibling framework more deeply into a community’s organizational culture. As the siblingship language becomes a more natural part of a community’s lexicon, it will signal to insiders and new arrivals the importance of this value in the community.
The depth of their sibling bond, deepened by hardship and grace, continues to influence how Steve and JoAnn view the importance of men and women ministering together as Christian siblings.
5. Choose to serve together as sisters and brothers.
The senior pastor in the above story made this choice, and the experience of serving in solidarity with Wayne proved redemptive for Melanie. We can also attest to the joy of serving together as women and men. JoAnn and fellow pastor Steve Frissell, after a staff leadership reshuffling, were tapped to guide the church as co-lead teaching pastors, creating one of the richest collaborative experiences they had ever had in ministry. Although different in personality, Steve and JoAnn shared a passion for Christ and the congregation, and along with their fellow senior leaders, they shepherded the church through a pandemic and a search for a new lead pastor.
Conclusion
Time and again, the Bible deploys sibling language to describe the nature of relationships within the Christian community, including between women and men. Such sibling relationships come as a result of our adoption into God’s family; they are marked by agape love, and they are designed to be ever-expanding. The church would be well served to more fully embrace and live out this paradigm of sisters and brothers in Christ. To get there, faith communities can pray for courage to live out this paradigm, study the Scriptures on this topic, pursue reconciliation wherever rivalries exist, purposefully use sibling language in their daily interactions, and serve together as sisters and brothers in full and equal ministry partnerships. As these things happen, may more Christians have the life-giving experience that marked the partnership of Melanie and Wayne!
Notes
[1] Throughout this piece, we are opting to use “sisters and brothers” and “women and men” as opposed to the more commonly used “brothers and sisters” and “men and women.” Our conviction is that as siblings, we are fundamentally equal, and we hope that this choice to invert the traditional phrasing levels the rhetorical playing field just a bit. In addition, while we opted to frame this story in this particular way, it could also be told in the reverse, with Wayne as the incoming pastor assigned to work with Melanie.
[2] The term “sacred siblings” has been used in several books, including Sue Edwards, Kelley Matthews, and Henry J. Rogers, Mixed Ministry: Working Together as Brothers and Sisters in an Oversexed Society (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 2008), and Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher, Jesus & Gender: Living as Brothers & Sisters in Christ (Bellingham, WA: Kirkdale Press, 2022).
[3] In this piece, “we” are Dr. JoAnn Hummel and Dr. Rob Dixon. JoAnn Hummel is a retired pastor currently leveraging her wisdom, communication gifts, and ministry experience to coach and mentor women leaders. Rob Dixon is a Senior Fellow for Gender Partnership with the InterVarsity Institute and author of Together in Ministry: Women and Men in Flourishing Partnerships.
[4] Marg Mowczko, “’Brothers and Sisters’” (Adelphoi) in Pauls’ Letters.” Marg Mowczko (blog), March 25, 2022, https://margmowczko.com/adelphoi-brothers-and-sisters/.
[5] All Scripture references come from the New Revised Standard Version, Updated Edition.
[6] Reider Aasgaard (2002), ‘Role Ethics’ in Paul: The Significance of the Sibling Role for Paul’s
Ethical Thinking, New Testament Studies, 48, p. 516-517, doi:10.1017/S0028688502000310.
[7] Joseph H. Hellerman, The Ancient Church as Family (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press, 2001), 36.
[8] Ibid, 41.
[9] ibid, 37–38.
[10] maxlucado.com, April 3, 2025. Audio Devotional “You Are Headed Home” [taken from his book, Jesus, the God Who Knows Your Name.]. Plenty of other Christian writers have reflected on the theme of adoption. For instance, in seminal book Knowing God, J.I. Packer writes, “Were I asked to focus the New Testament message in three words, my proposal would be adoption through propitiation, and I do not expect ever to meet a richer or more pregnant summary of the gospel than that.” J.I. Packer, Knowing God, 50th Anniversary Edition (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2023), 214.
[11] A survey of the Gospels reveals Jesus’s radical counter-cultural treatment of women. Indeed, “the prominence of women in the Gospels and Jesus’ interaction with them—scandalous for an esteemed rabbi—elevates them to a new dignity amid a rigid patriarchy.” Donald Kraybill, The Upside-Down Kingdom (Harrisonburg, VA: Herald Press, 2018), 202.
[12] Given the patriarchal context of the day, there are no Scriptural examples of women and men having an explicit sibling argument, but there are plenty of examples of sibling rivalries. For instance, Cain murdered his brother and rival Abel (Gen. 4:1–16, 1 John 3:12), Joseph was thrown into a pit, rescued, and then sold into slavery by his brothers (Gen. 37), and Miriam and Aaron tried to usurp the leadership role of their brother, Moses (Numbers 12). Even among Jesus’ disciples, rivalry reared its ugly head as they jockeyed to be honored as the greatest (Matt. 23:11–12). Even Paul and Barnabas, the first missionaries, severed their fruitful partnership over a fissure in their relationship (Acts 15:39). These and other examples underscore the point that moving from rivalry to solidarity will demand focused intention.
[13] In his classic book, The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis articulates four different types of love based on four Greek words for love: storge (familial love), philia (friendship), eros (romantic love), and agape (unconditional love). C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (New York: NY, Harper One, 2017).
[14] Thomas G. Long, Hebrews, in Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching, James L. Mays, Series Editor and Paul J. Achtemeier, New Testament Editor (Louisville, KY: John Knox Press, 1997), 42.
Photo by Chris Hardy on Unsplash.
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