Prayerfully consider the following questions and write down your answers:
How are events designed for men? For women? Boys? Girls? Who designs them? Do the activities reflect gender bias? What is the impact of these decisions?
Are there opportunities for men/boys to engage in activities which promote emotional vulnerability and connection?
Are there opportunities for women/girls to engage in activities that promote physical activity or competition?
Are there dress codes for the youth group? Do differences exist in how they’re they applied to girls or boys? Why? Are girls expected to protect boys from temptation? Do youth leaders talk about double-standards for boys and girls or do they parrot popular teachings that put the responsibility on girls to “keep their brothers from stumbling,” etc.
What are you teaching boys/men and girls/women about consent in and outside of marriage?How much of your church leadership is female? How have you looked for female leaders? Are you having a hard time recognizing female leaders in your own congregation?
What resources do you use for pre-marriage counseling? Are the teachings or reflections based on gender stereotypes? What kinds of expectations for gender roles are projected?
What are you teaching boys/men and girls/women about decision-making between spouses?
Do teachings reflect gendered identities, one for males and another for females?
If a spouse comes to a leader and reports s/he’s been abused, what is your church policy for how to handle it? Are staff and volunteers trained to engage these issues? Has anyone in leadership encouraged women/ men to stay in abusive relationships for any reason? What resources are available for women/ men in these circumstances?
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