Editor’s note: This is a CBE 2023 Writing Contest Honorable Mention!
I recently returned to my home church and attended Sunday service. We have never had women on the worship team; only the men could sing on stage. The reasons are varied and sketchy—vague interpretations about how women must “remain silent” in church, flimsy excuses about how practice sessions are in the evening, and so it is difficult for most women to attend. Despite having a congregation that includes women working at the top of their fields in the world outside, my church lives in the past, maintaining a status quo that is based on silencing half of its believers. This extends to excluding women from the committee and in other leadership positions in the church. It must also be mentioned that the women, who for years had been conditioned to stay in the background, did not jump at the prospect of change. So the elders found an easy excuse—“the women aren’t as interested in this project as you say.” By the time I left home for studies, I had given up any hope of change.
Imagine the joy that went through my heart when I went to church this time and saw a microphone next to my friend. She wasn’t on stage; she wouldn’t be seen—but there was a mic! It was more than we had ever had. I sat down next to her, elated at this minuscule achievement. The music began. The men onstage roared ahead. I strained to catch my talented friend’s voice on the speakers and heard nothing. I shook my head and tried again. I stopped singing myself and concentrated on the speakers alone. To my left, I could hear her singing as loud as she could, but still nothing on the speakers. I turned around to look at the guy at the controls thrice and was ignored. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. The singing ended shortly after, and she put down the mic. It lay there on the floor between us, a taunting reminder of the futility of our attempts. A pink mic—a token given to a woman to hide the fact that she would never be heard.
Sexism is deeply rooted in many churches, not just mine. Using interpretations of Bible verses out of context, people justify the subordination of women. They trace it back to the sin of Eve—the remains of a blame game that began in Eden. The sin of Eve (and Adam) that God had promised would be reconciled when Jesus came and defeated Satan. The sin that God had forgiven through his son, but the church still staunchly, stubbornly holds on to. This attitude is reinforced and perpetuated in a variety of ways—casually, benevolently, by imposing special control on women’s bodies—but the worst for me is when it is mentioned in passing, jokingly, laughed off, raising a generation of entitled men, and women who believe God loves them less.
Nothing irks me more than the casual sexism of some pastors and the stifled laughter of the aunties who egg them on. A joke here, an anecdote there—in which the “ammamma”[1] of the household invariably emerges the villain, a true descendant of her foremother Eve who “led” man to sin. The veracity of most of these anecdotes (which are intended to be didactic and humorous) is dubious, but that’s a different story altogether. I squirm every time they make a casual remark linking women and stupidity, women and frivolity, or women and shallowness—as if it is a given that women will always mess up. Gender roles and stereotypes are subtly reinforced in preaching. Female Bible characters are ruthlessly ridiculed. Sarah laughed (Gen. 18:11–12). Lot’s wife turned (Gen. 19:26). Eve ate the fruit (Gen. 3:6). Sapphira lied (Acts 5:2). Salome asked for her sons to be seated in prestigious positions in heaven (Matt. 20:20). These are only some of the stock characters that male pastors pick on to illustrate the inevitable incompetence of women. Jacob was a trickster, but no one generalizes it to say all men are tricksters. The sermon might be about something else altogether, but they will sacrifice everything to go on a deviation that will make a blanket statement about women because they know they will elicit titters of laughter from the audience. Many women are complicit in this attitude. Every time they laugh at a joke that depreciates their value, they encourage sexism, they accept wrongful accusations, and they teach their daughters that they really are the shallow beings the men preach they are. While half of us grit our teeth in forced silence, some laugh politely, some giggle. I want to sink into the earth.
This is not an isolated phenomenon. It happens at the workplace, in classrooms, on the streets, in our homes, on social media, and in political and public arenas. Suddenly you realize, the church has become a microcosm of the society outside. It’s not holier, not safer, not more accepting, not empowering—instead of following the injunction to “. . .not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Rom. 12:2), we are doing the exact opposite. We are recreating the very flaws of the world outside, even making it worse.
The most terrible part of all this is how the Bible is used to justify oppression. For decades, the Bible was used to justify slavery and segregation. The gospels show us that the devil himself can quote Scripture for his own gain (Matt. 4:6). Misquoting verses that Paul addressed to churches in very specific situations, churches today have managed to convince women that they are second-class citizens in the church—that not even in the presence of their creator will they find refuge from the systemic oppression they face daily. Here are some of the verses you ignore: for every time you command a woman to be silent, remember how Jesus said if we remain silent, the stones will cry out (Luke 19:40); for every time you reinforce gender roles by hinting that a woman belongs in the kitchen, remember that Jesus said Mary who had chosen to sit at his feet, and not Martha, had chosen the good part (Luke 10:42); for every time you ignore and condone domestic violence, remember God doesn’t just hate divorce but also the man who covers himself in violence (Mal. 2:16); for every time you teach a woman that she is created inferior, remember she is made as much in God’s image as man—not more and certainly not less (Gen. 1:27); every time you give precedence to a man in church even when a deserving woman candidate is present, remember, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). And finally, if you forbid a woman from preaching or use the world’s attitude to justify your actions (“people won’t listen to a woman, so preaching won’t be as effective,” etc.), remember that Jesus entrusted the central truth of the gospel to a woman. In a world where a woman’s testimony was worth nothing, he chose Mary Magdalene to be the first bearer of the truth of his resurrection—first to his male disciples, and then to Judea, Samaria, and the rest of the world (John 20:11–18). And if he cannot convince you, I must admit that neither can I.
While church-hunting in a new city, I talked to a few of my friends about my search. One of them advised me to make sure that the core theological beliefs of the church were in place, the rest would need some adjustment on our part anyway—no church is perfect, precisely because they are composed of imperfect people like you and me. It was sound advice and I thought about it later. Then suddenly I realized—to many men, the treatment of women in the church would not be a core theological issue. It is only mentioned in a few places in the Bible and seems to have nothing directly to do with salvation—it is merely a matter of church conduct. But for me, as a woman, it is a core issue directly related to my salvation and my position as a daughter of God. If I was bought with the same precious blood of Jesus that you are, why should I not praise him just as loudly as you do? If I am made in God’s image as much as you are, why must I be hidden away? If he loves me as much as he loves you, why must I be secondary in my Father’s presence?
The pink mic is only symbolic of the larger oppressive and discriminatory practices in which we consciously or unconsciously engage. It was a pink mic in my church, it might be something else in yours. It might be a passing joke to you, but if it causes your sister in Christ to doubt her identity in God, it is no laughing matter.
Photo by Vladimir Sukhachev on Shutterstock.
[1] “Ammamma” is a Malayalam term used to refer to women.
Related Resources
“Never Lord!” No More: What Peter Can Teach Us About Sexism
Good Morning! Waking Up to Racism and Sexism
It’s Not Easy Being a Woman Professor: Subverting Sexism in Higher Education