Six Obstacles to Pastors Considering Mutuality

A pastor asked a friend of mine whether she would recommend hiring a particular woman in the church for a staff position. My friend replied that the woman was a gifted teacher and if her gift was restricted, it would be a great loss. She asked the pastor about his position on women teaching groups with both men and women. He replied, “I wouldn’t touch that issue with a ten-foot pole.”

For many pastors, the issue of biblical equality for women in the church and home is like handling a grenade with a loose pin. Why is this such a minefield for pastors? Why is the concern about taking an unpopular stand greater than the concern for what Scripture teaches?

A plethora of resources is available to help pastors reason through what the Bible actually teaches. However, we must realistically consider factors that disincentivize pastors from objectively studying biblical equality for women. The following are six obstacles that pastors face. Our goal should be to empathize with their challenges and consider how to constructively help.

1. Christian Cancel Culture

We might assume the Scriptural admonition to not “fear man” is about not fearing worldly people. (One example is Proverbs 29:25, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”) However, those of us who are well-grounded in our faith are in less danger of fearing ungodly men and more danger of fearing godly men.

In conservative circles where a pastor has inherited a restrictive view of women, the intimidation power of “the L word” (liberal) is frightening. No pastor wants to invite peers to label him “a liberal” and edge him out of his community, losing job, friends, and reputation. As a result, few well-known pastors publicly state they’ve changed to an egalitarian position. Once a pastor reaches a certain level of accomplishment, there’s too much to lose over a “secondary issue”—and before he reaches that level, he’s struggling so much he has no wish to detonate any potential success. When fellow seminary alumni, influential friends, publishers, donors, and denominations expect a certain position, it’s career suicide to do otherwise.

One megachurch pastor was established well enough that it seemed he could exercise his conviction without reprisal. His church was one of the denomination’s largest contributors; he was financially comfortable from book sales, and retirement was around the corner. He ordained some women as teaching pastors while being clear that they did not hold the highest position in the church. The board of elders was higher and reserved for males. However, his church was quickly booted from the denomination, and his reputation suffered.

Another pastor was the lead teacher of a megachurch that grew from hundreds to thousands under his leadership. The elders asked him for a better-written defense of the church’s complementarian position due to the many questions they’d received on the topic. During his study, he discovered the Bible doesn’t teach hierarchy. But it wasn’t enough that he’d faithfully led the church theologically for a decade. His change in this position led to his resignation.

Stories like this strike fear into the hearts of those who might consider a public position change. Some have navigated that change without costly consequences, but prudence dictates the need to be willing to lose everything.

We need to impart courage to pastors by assuring them of our committed support. They need to know they won’t stand alone against Christian cancel culture.

2. Lack of Time and Priority

Churches consider in-depth study by their pastors a noble pursuit. However, once their denomination has adopted an official position, churches do not encourage pastors to reexamine the biblical case for fear of disrupting unity. Therefore, churches usually don’t treat studying the issue of women as a priority—unless it’s to reinforce an existing position and shore up stability. For a busy person wearing many hats, why take precious time to study a complex issue that will only get them in hot water?

Priority would increase if men appreciated what women bring to the table and what they could do if completely unleashed. Men (and women as well) may have subconscious misogyny due to being conditioned since childhood to believe women’s contributions are inferior. Rather than appreciating the feminine perspective, they may have been taught women are gullible, weak, and emotional, based on how certain Bible passages were presented.

We need to show pastors the benefits of mutualism and explain why it is a priority. Help them witness the impactful ministry of women outside of their usual framework to understand what their churches are missing. The global church and para-church organizations are filled with women leading house churches, disciple-making movements, and humanitarian ministries—especially in places where leadership is recognized more organically.

Share mutuality resources such as those recommended by CBE and ask for feedback. Parishioner interest helps issues rise in priority.

3. Power Factors

What would motivate someone to make a choice that undermines their own power and authority? The unconscious hindrance for many pastors who don’t intentionally hoard power is that it seems they have little to gain and everything to lose by releasing power and control. Countless recommended “leadership” books insist they must lead with strength and stability, not recklessly share power.

These men have inherited the system of hierarchy, which is “power over” rather than “power under” (using power to elevate and empower others). Therefore, clinging to control feels “right,” especially when they didn’t set out with malicious intent. Having power is also comfortable; we all feel more comfortable when we feel in control. Although many men want to obey biblical commands to serve and love sacrificially, they may fail to recognize the uncomfortable response such commands require (elevating others).

Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:42–45)

Jesus’s instruction is often re-interpreted as, “Exercise authority, just don’t be a jerk about it.” Jesus’s example and instruction not to exercise authority over others in his kingdom are so unfathomable we can’t see ourselves doing it. The way he sacrificed to give mere humans autonomy in this world is something we can only imagine Jesus doing, not something men do for others.

Social scientists have long recognized that institutions shape people’s norms and expectations. Churches are no exception. When a church consistently models male-only authority, those patterns can influence how members think about authority in other settings, including the home.^{1, 2}

Pastors not only have their own loss of power to consider, but every other man’s as well. Just as King Xerxes’s counselors told him the authority of every man in the kingdom would be undermined unless he punished Vashti for her refusal to be objectified (Esth. 1:16–22), so today in the church, every man would have to wrestle with what power sharing means in his own home.

Parishioners need to learn Jesus’s example and teachings about power and authority, then reconsider the overall hierarchical culture in our churches and explain that there is a better way.

4. Heart Condition

It takes special positioning of the heart to receive God’s gift of a true partner and let go of the insecurity of needing to be the leader. It’s the opposite of our natural human tendency and everything we see in the world system. Most people see no problem with running a church or ministry like a business. I know a pastor who had an especially tender heart and a willingness to partner. He sought high and low for another man who wanted to co-pastor and couldn’t find a single one. I know of one church that has three pastors with equal status, but they are a rare breed.

Terran Williams tells how when he realized there was no solid evidence for male hierarchy, and that his wife was his ēzer kenegdo (corresponding strength), he was excited to tell someone. She walked into the room, and when he opened his mouth to tell her, he was so grateful for her that he could only cry for joy at this revelatory truth he had been missing for decades.³ His response demonstrated a soft heart rather than a hard and fearful heart.

It is difficult to have empathy for human experiences that we have not experienced ourselves. Most men have not personally experienced being sidelined for an immutable reason (gender) having nothing to do with character, heart for God, or skill. It can be difficult for them to grasp how the expectation of inevitable sidelining affects women to their very core. Men need to be willing to hear about this, without defensiveness, in order to understand that women often self-censure, doubt, and hold back from God’s calling on their lives. A man needs to ask God to soften his heart before he can objectively study this issue. This is not to say a person’s emotions should determine exegesis; however, a hard heart can close one’s mind to other interpretive possibilities.

We need to recognize the difference between hard, fearful hearts and soft hearts—and then commend those with soft hearts.

5. Fear of Undermining Confidence in the Bible

Pastors fear if they say, “Hey everybody, we’ve been getting this wrong for years,” they will undermine people’s confidence in the Bible. People might wonder what else teachers have been getting wrong and whether they can trust the “plain reading” of the Word on other topics. It is possible to address these questions well, especially by teaching basic hermeneutics and teaching through difficult, gender-related passages. But it adds yet another challenge a pastor needs to face in order to study the issue of women.

Many books have been written to explain the biblical support for female equality, so why does it remain an uphill battle to convince people this is not a modern, culturally-affected way to interpret Scripture? My book, Bible Truth About Women: What They Don’t Tell You, identifies 20 categories of misleading tactics employed by translators and interpreters to obfuscate the truth and restrict women. I believe people need to see this evidence in order to understand there hasn’t been fair treatment of this issue and the related passages, and that’s why this is an uphill battle. We need to demonstrate there is truly no “plain reading” of the Word because we have been diligent in searching out answers to other issues, and this issue deserves the same fair play.

We need to teach proper hermeneutics, the challenges of translation, and English language biases so we can promote truth in a way that reassures people’s confidence in the Bible. The result of this kind of teaching is a deeper discipleship that causes people to search out God’s heart rather than discarding the Bible as incoherent due to what appear to be discrepancies.

6. Fear of “The Slippery Slope”

Prominent evangelicals have argued a “predictable sequence” that accepting women pastors places churches on a trajectory toward affirming homosexuality.⁴ The slippery slope argument is a logical fallacy that assumes people can’t draw a line and hold it.

Some denominations recognized freedom for women but then compromised on other issues over the years. However, numerous theologically orthodox denominations that freed women over a hundred years ago have never compromised on issues pertaining to sexual behavior (i.e., Quakers, Salvation Army, Wesleyans, Nazarenes, Pentecostals). The partnering function of women in the church and home has nothing to do with compromising on sexual behavior, and it’s harmful to imply it does.

We must adjust our understanding of Scripture based on good study of the original text, not on feelings, cultural trends, or traditions. Male dominance remains a cultural tradition.⁵

Final Constructive Assistance

We need to be like the Bereans, whom Paul commended for studying everything out for themselves (Acts 17:11).

We need to be able to defend any position we hold.

We need to kindly and patiently lead one person at a time to understand each passage of Scripture that addresses women.

We need to lead the way in repenting as a church for failing to give equal honor to every part of the body of Christ.

Most importantly, we need to pray fervently for God to open the eyes of those who sit in darkness, so we can all rejoice in a healthy, whole body.

Notes

¹Stephanie Seguino, “Help or Hindrance? Religion’s Impact on Gender Inequality in Attitudes and Outcomes” (using World Values survey data), World Development, Volume 39, Issue 8, 2011, Pages 1308–1321.

²Becker SO, Bentzen JS, Kok CC. Gender and Religion: A Survey. Journal of Demographic Economics. Published online 2026:1-42. doi:10.1017/dem.2025.10014.

³ Terran Williams, interview by Amy Brown, Think Again (podcast), “Think Again Forward—Why We Need to ‘Think Again’ Interview with Terran Williams,” April 15, 2026, 17:34.

⁴ Wayne Grudem, Evangelical Feminism: A New Path to Liberalism? (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2006), Chapter 32, “The Final Step: Approval of Homosexuality.”

⁵ Nick O’Brien, “I Support Female Pastors. Have I Surrendered to the Culture? Our ‘Culture’ Is Hardly Egalitarian,” Renewed Mind (Substack), June 8, 2026, https://renewedmind.substack.com/p/i-support-female-pastors-have-i-surrendered.

Photo by Michael Rosner-Hyman on Unsplash.