In her book, Calm & Quiet My Soul, Alyssa Lynn Bell offers empathetic understanding, spiritual insight, and practical encouragement to women who pastor and also mother. As an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (USA), spiritual director, and recent doctoral student of spiritual formation and leadership, Bell knows firsthand the challenges and joys of holding the dual roles of ministry and motherhood. Her theological understanding of God not only provides a more complete picture of God; it is also one that may comfort and sustain mothering pastors. In addition, the theological insights and practical wisdom she offers are helpful for male clergy, congregants, and anyone interested in Christian spirituality.
Due to the fragmentation mothering pastors experience as they tend to people and situations in their various roles, they are familiar with shame and spiritual exhaustion. There is a longing for wholeness, for a sense of connection and community with others, as well as for spiritual encouragement and nourishment. While all ministry leaders play multiple roles, the heavy demand of childcare is particularly all-consuming and continues to be mostly seen as the mother’s responsibility. Mothering pastors thus require a different kind of spiritual support that is not usually available within existing church structures. Therefore, most spiritual support for mothering pastors is either lacking or self-initiated.
Noting the lack of spiritual care resources for this particular demographic of clergy, Bell acknowledges the unique challenges that mothering pastors face as they are pulled in multiple directions. Rather than proposing ideas about how to balance these competing pressures or offering suggestions for how to structure one’s ministry, Bell turns to the foundation of our faith—our understanding of God. For mothering pastors especially, she proposes that understanding and experiencing the motherhood of God is key to spiritual rest and nourishment.
Bell highlights the mothering nature of God as a key source of comfort and rest for mothering pastors. God’s maternal love is unfamiliar to many, as we have tended to view God primarily as father throughout Christian history. However, the ancient Hebrew people understood the maternal love of God, because feminine imagery for God is used throughout the Old Testament. (Deuteronomy 32:18, Psalm 131:2, and Nehemiah 9:31 are a few such examples.) God is described as a mother who comforts and fiercely defends her children, as the mother bear and mother bird metaphors suggest (Hosea 13:8 and Isaiah 31:5). Bell notes that while the Greek word for the Spirit (pneuma) is neuter, the Hebrew word (ruah) and the Aramaic word (rucha) used for the Spirit are both feminine.[1] Then in the New Testament, the Holy Spirit is referred to in a feminine way as the Spirit desires to birth new life (as in the Nicodemus story, John 3:1–21) and “midwife[s] the church into existence.”[2] Bell suggests that the Last Supper can be viewed as a uniquely maternal metaphor: someone’s flesh and blood are offered as the life-giving nourishment for another. Bell argues that “given the overwhelming need for mothering pastors to receive mothering love as a balm to their spiritual longings, the biblical imagery of God as a mother proves enormously beneficial.”[3]
Throughout Christian history, various people like Julian of Norwich, Teresa of Avila, Susanna Wesley, and Hannah Whitall Smith have appreciated the maternal care of God. For example, in Showing of Love, Julian of Norwich uses maternal language to describe her experience of God. As Bell says, “her use of mother language was not a theological plan; it was her only option.”[4] By using these historical examples, Bell points out that the mothering side of God is not a new idea; instead, this way of viewing God can be traced back over the centuries and finds its roots in Scripture.
Bell points out that neither father nor mother imagery offers a complete picture of God, but that we have tended to neglect the mother imagery. Therefore, the most faithful practice is to use both paternal and maternal language for God. Bell says that for those not familiar with mothering language for God, it is “transformative in how they experience God’s care for their lives”; this is particularly so when women “begin to hear God spoken of in terms of their own gender.”[5] Various practical spiritual exercises are helpfully included throughout the book to help readers experience the mothering love of God themselves, and in Bell’s final chapter, she concludes with practical spiritual formation practices that help facilitate spiritual rest and care.
Not only does Bell provide a captivating argument based on Scripture and supported by Christian history, but she also writes in an accessible and engaging manner. Her desire for mothering pastors to be spiritually cared for is evident. Stories from ministry and mothering, along with poetry, accompany each chapter, grounding the theological ideas in real life. Especially for the mothering pastor, this is a book that will act as a wise friend and spiritual companion. For all other readers, this book offers a corrective to our image of God that is often predominantly masculine and invites us to remember God as Mother and all the life and love that God longs to give us.
[1] Bell, Calm & Quiet, 45.
[2] Bell, Calm & Quiet, 65.
[3] Bell, Calm & Quiet, 55.
[4] Bell, Calm & Quiet, 62.
[5] Bell, Calm & Quiet, 69.
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