I am a woman called to minister as a pastor in the body of Christ. My ministry journey is layered with men who called out my pastoral gifting and stoked the fire of my ministry. I find it especially sweet that the loudest voices of affirmation for my work are brothers who regularly cheer me on. They speak life to me. Their words breathe the oxygen of perseverance into my lungs when the journey seems impossible. They are my band of brothers.
Here are just a few of their contributions to my ministry
I think of one dear brother that I served with in my first ministry job as an intern. Pastoral ministry was not in my purview. It was a new idea to me since I had grown up in conservative churches where men did all of the leading.
This brother said something to me that I never forgot. He said, "If you were a pastor, I would go to your church." That statement took me by surprise and planted a seed in my heart. I thought to myself, if he, a seminary graduate and pastor, would entrust his spiritual feeding to me, maybe I should consider that a ministry calling was in me.
Another brother opened the door for me to preach my first sermon. Based solely on the recommendation of a friend, he asked me to preach at our young adult service. He had every reason to want to hear me himself or read through my manuscript beforehand! But, he chose to simply trust me. He opened a door that I had not even knocked on and gave me my start in preaching.
A brother that I currently serve with affirms my gifts and trusts me to address difficult and controversial subjects in Sunday morning sermons. He has opened the pulpit to me, inviting me to partner with him in preaching. He affirms my leadership and wholeheartedly receives my contributions to various avenues of ministry at the church. His partnership is a special gift.
During difficult seasons in ministry, another brother regularly checks in and mentors me through challenges and obstacles. He consistently spurs me on, challenges me, and advocates for me. He tells me to keep going when I want to give up. His counsel has kept me from making decisions I would regret.
A current colleague gently nudges me forward in my calling. He receives pastoral care from me and he offers me that same care. He prays for me in my sermon preparation, gives me feedback on my messages, and affirms and encourages me daily.
I am thankful for my husband of thirteen years who never stops believing in me. In many ways, he opened up the world of church ministry to me! He is the reason we moved to California, and it is in this place that my ministry journey in churches began.
Personal note: In the most adorable way, he gets nervous for me every time I preach, and he always has positive comments for me afterward.
There are more—the man who was instrumental during the period of my ordination, the man who gave me my first ministry job, the man who mentored me during another transition in ministry, the man who advocated for me as a nursing mom seeking to pastor during that challenging time, men in my congregation who express deep appreciation for my teaching and leadership. The list goes on.
I am simply grateful for each of them. These men of God embody the kingdom partnership that needs to happen in the body of Christ.
My band of brothers, the men who support my ministry, does not seek to rescue me from difficulties. They do not demean me by assuming weakness. They are not intimidated by my human emotions. They do not demand of me or pretend to know what is best. They are simply life-giving and at times, challenging, voices. They care enough to ask the tough questions and to show me where my thinking is faulty or incomplete.
They are eyes that see God’s call upon me. They are a supportive and affirming presence along what is often a difficult ministry journey.
Women are oppressed all around the world today, as it has been throughout history. That fact must never be ignored or overlooked. We need to be aware of it. It is vital that we advocate for the full equality of women in society and in church.
But, we should also recognize the men among us who are living differently. These men have chosen to see their sisters as equals. They champion and partner with us, benefiting the work of the kingdom around the world.
To the men who read this, I ask you, “Which female leaders do you need to affirm, encourage, and nudge forward?” You might be the voice that plants the seed in their heart that reveals their calling. You might be the voice that keeps them moving forward when they feel like giving up. You might be the voice that figuratively holds up their arms when their strength is gone.
To the women who read this, I ask you to look at your life and identify the men who have been life-giving voices to you. Who has opened doors? Who has planted seeds? Who has affirmed you? Celebrate those life-giving male voices.
The advocacy role that men can play for women in ministry cannot be overstated. My band of brothers has repeatedly opened doors, nudged me forward, and encouraged me on my journey. Men, I ask you to consider who you can affirm in this way. Your support just might launch a woman’s ministry or sustain a woman in ministry who wants to give up.