Marriage and Family | CBE International

You are here

Marriage and Family

tim+anne evans
The following article draws extensively from tim+anne evans' new book,TOGETHER: Reclaiming Co-Leadership in Marriage, which is available for purchase from CBE's bookstore. The majority of marriage sermons, books, and seminars focus on different infallible interpretations of a handful of controversial marriage texts. This often results in confusion surrounding the issues of equality, headship, submission, and authority. After many years of marriage, counseling couples, and leading REAL LIFE marriage gatherings, we've reached the conclusion that there is much misinformation and confusion surrounding marriage. For this reason, whenever we have an opportunity to speak or teach, we begin by asking a question: What is God's mission, his purpose, for marriage?... Read more
“Wives, submit to your husbands,” says Ephesians 5:22. Just be careful not to commit idolatry while you’re submitting. The complementarians I know insist that husbands and wives should listen to each other and make big decisions together. The purpose, they say, of Paul’s instruction to wives is to prevent paralysis in decision-making. If the husband and wife face an important decision and they cannot agree, then the wife should yield to her husband’s view. This is God’s way of keeping order when the two are deadlocked. But is it really God’s way, or is it idolatry? Imagine my husband, Mark, and I cannot agree on an important decision. The answer is not obvious from Scripture. But I think my way is the way of obedience, and Mark is convince... Read more
It doesn’t take long before everyone who meets me is aware that I don’t like stereotyping and avoid it strenuously and yet……I have observed that often in families where there are children of both genders, the girls seem to be the more responsible ones, often to the annoyance of brothers who are being ‘bossed around’ by their sisters. I’m sure there are exceptions to this but it is often the scenario where a brother has another ‘mother’ nipping at his heels, trying to tell him what to do! Now…..if God made males to be in charge, to take initiative and to be more responsible, why are boys so often immature, irresponsible and need to be pulled into line by female siblings ? People often take delight in pointing out how boys sho... Read more
As an egalitarian I often write and speak on the importance of equality within male-female relationships. I do so because I strongly believe that power inequity prevents each partner from being all God calls him or her to be. Inequality diminishes everyone: those with power and those without. I hadn’t realized until recently, however, that an imbalance of power has actually been linked to brain functioning. According to Dacher Keltner, Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, people with power share similarities with those who have damaged frontal lobes, a part of the brain which facilitates empathy and socially-appropriate behavior. Such a condition, Dr. Keltner reports, “can cause overly impulsive and insensitive behavior... Read more
Dear Complementarian: If you embrace the theological position that God the Son is eternally (read “permanently”) subordinate to God the Father and then ground your belief that submission of the wife to the husband is permanently true because of this theological position, then what does this text mean? At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. -Mt.22:30 Presumably the text suggests that in eternity human relationships will not include marriage (the question about human reproduction and human sexual relationships is equally suspect). The uses of γαμέω and γαμίζω (words for a man/woman marrying) make it clear that marriage is not part of the eternal st... Read more
Many engaged couples tend to read books together, and sometimes have a few pre-marital sessions with a counselor in preparation for marriage. When we were engaged, we too read books and met with our pastor, and understandably, both were invaluably helpful and hilariously uncomfortable. We also were lucky enough to stumble upon three key principles for a partnership in marriage through a hobby we both love: rock climbing. They are communication, trust, and give and take.  As Adam was maybe ten or twelve feet in the air, Caroline, his belay (the one connected to and supporting the climber by the rope), had the revelation, “Hey, this is sort of like our own pre-martial counseling!” Caroline continued, “Your life is literally in my hands! I could drop you if I wa... Read more
Many engaged couples tend to read books together, and sometimes have a few pre-marital sessions with a counselor in preparation for marriage. When we were engaged, we too read books and met with our pastor, and understandably, both were invaluably helpful and hilariously uncomfortable. We also were lucky enough to stumble upon three key principles for a partnership in marriage through a hobby we both love: rock climbing. They are communication, trust, and give and take.  As Adam was maybe ten or twelve feet in the air, Caroline, his belay (the one connected to and supporting the climber by the rope), had the revelation, “Hey, this is sort of like our own pre-martial counseling!” Caroline continued, “Your life is literally in my hands! I could drop you if I wa... Read more
I would like make some additional observations on the topic of Modern Marriage Concerns by taking up a statement I made in the closing paragraphs of a previous post on this subject. “I for one do not want to go back to gender hierarchy but I can readily understand it if my complementarian friends are quick to say that this ‘individualism’ is where egalitarianism takes us and is the very reason why they are so against it. Egalitarianism is not meant to manifest itself in rampant individualism. In fact it is meant to do the opposite, that is to work against individualism, especially as it relates to a male privileged environment. It would be a tragedy if the empowering of women led to the neglect of the men in their lives.”  While I may not want to go back... Read more
It would seem that my wife and I have come from a vastly different background to modern-day egalitarians who have grown up in a more secular egalitarian culture. What I mean by that is that we arrived at a stance of biblical equality after having been deeply enculturated in evangelical conservatism. While the church in general has been slow to come to terms with the acceptance of women in leadership positions and marriage equality this is generally accepted as a norm throughout the civilised world. It was not so when we began our journey.  While it is understood that women in executive positions, who arrived there on the basis of merit, still struggle to overcome the entrenched male domination that exists in these corporate sectors, great advances are being made and the more common... Read more
This post originally appeared on September 12, 2013 on the blog of House2House Magazine: house2housemagazine.com/2013/09/12/what-are-we-risking-by-christa-mckirland. Growing up in the South, being Southern Baptist, and even serving on staff at a few institutional churches, the issue of “gender roles” has always been on the forefront of my mind. At twenty, I had the opportunity to serve at a summer camp, where I taught 150-200 high school juniors and seniors each week. In this context, the Spirit of God confirmed to me that I was gifted to teach and to lead, the only problem was…being female. This tension led me to press into the Scriptures and ask the question: “Is the only viable expression of my gifts in a female-exclusive context?” In aski... Read more

Pages