Christian Relationships | CBE International

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Christian Relationships

by Liz Beyer On a number of occasions, Jesus reproved his disciples and the religious leaders for missing what was important to God. He said things like “their teachings are merely human rules,” and “you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns” (Mark 7:5-8, 8:31-33). In Isaiah 55:8, God says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” Clearly, it is easy for us to lose sight of God’s ways and resort to our own default way of doing things. The popular concept of “headship”—the idea that the man is the leader of his wife and family and that he exercises authority over his wife as her spiritual covering and priest—is one such example of this. “Headship” is... Read more
There are some philosophical words which can appear scary until we understand them - here's a few..... ONTOLOGY: The study of the fundamental nature of being, what makes something what it is. (Ontology is also a word used in Information Science in another way not related to our issues, in case any of you are in I.S.) ESSENCE and ACCIDENT: Similar to Ontology, Essence means that some quality or attribute is necessary for something to be what it is. Accident does not mean “accidental” in this case, it means something that a thing is that is not necessary to the essence of what it is. NECESSARY and SUFFICIENT: These terms mean pretty much what you’d expect. Is this attribute of something necessary to it being what it is?   Is it sufficient to make somethi... Read more
"He didn't protect me," Nan said of her husband, Blaine (not their real names).  Eyes clouding, Nan related how an "insensitive" male supervisor engaged in "ungracious" behavior and the effect it had on her emotionally. I sipped my raspberry iced tea and listened, asking questions here and there in an attempt to ascertain some salient facts. "So, did Jerry (pseudonym) come on to you?" I asked.  "Did he make sexually suggestive comments?  Harass you?  Was he abusive?  Did Jerry harm or threaten you physically?  Create a hostile work environment?" Nan answered negative to all of the above.  "Okay girlfriend," I set my glass down and leaned back in the wicker chair on Nan's wrap... Read more
Definition of Primogeniture from (an online dictionary) 1: the state of being the firstborn of the children of the same parents 2: an exclusive right of inheritance belonging to the eldest son   The right of inheritance under Mosaic law/Torah was a double portion for the first born son. NIV Deuteronomy 21:15-17 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, 16 when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love. 17 He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double sh... Read more
How does the man address the young woman who waits on him at the hardware store? “Kiddo.” What does the male lawn worker say when the lady of the house pays him? “Thanks, hon.” How does the fellow ask for directions? “Sweetie, can you tell me . . .? I am appalled! I have actually heard all these interchanges—or experienced them. There is something wrong with this picture! Maybe the man involved really doesn't know how to address a woman or summon her attention when he doesn't know her name. “Ma'am” is acceptable, and one doesn't usually go wrong with that term; perhaps even “miss” is okay if the woman is quite young. However, some women don't like being called “ma'am,” supposing th... Read more
Heb. 11: 24 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of God as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 1 Tim. 6: 17 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Paul goes on to admonish Timothy to encourage fellow believers to ‘be rich in good deeds, to be generous, and willing to share’. With some small thought we can rightly conclud... Read more
Let me tell you a little secret desire of mine, perhaps better stated as a hope. A very important fact about me, one that directly influences who I am, how I spend much of my time, who become my friends (and enemies) and my relationship with God, is that I’m married. My secret desire? I wish I could somehow let people know that I want to be “Mrs Hubert Hix”, or a similar salutation. When you see “Mrs Julie Hix”, which my wife Julie prefers to "Ms",  you know there is a Mr Hix around somewhere and that hopefully, he’s an important part of her life. If I could have some form of address that showed I was married, I think it would be a great thing. Being married is one of the first things I want people to know about me. It’s o... Read more
Hospitality is one of those Biblical words that has been redefined and limited to entertainment, to catering of a sort and to inviting people over for meals. While it is true that hospitality can include these elements, they are not a required part of it. It seems that in the economy of limiting women to specific roles, gender hierarchalists had to come up with a few more gifts for women since in the roles of leaders and heads of church and home, the men commandeered most of the gifts of the Spirit as part of their roles. Thus, the concept of a womanly gift that was centered in the home was created in redefining ‘hospitality’, so that women could be praised for being gifted in hospitality without offending any men. This raises a few concerns. Will the real meaning of... Read more
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7 TNIV). Some hierarchical teachers stress that submission is a choice and cannot be forced. When a husband is careful to never force or coerce his wife to submit, the assumption seems to be made that the wife’s submission is completely voluntary. Yet many hierarchical teachings also tell a wife that God wants her to willingly and joyfully submit to her husband’s final decision anytime they are unable to agree on something—unless he is asking her to sin. These teachers go on to explain that sometimes a husband might choose to defer to his wife’s decision and other times he might not. He has the freedom to choose.... Read more
I did not get to experience the mutual love and support that some of you have shared is your experience. I am truly glad for you, because that is what I believe is God's intention for marriage. My own experience was one of intolerance and abuse in my home until the death of my husband. The Bible tells us that God heals the brokenhearted, and of course I prayed for healing. But healing doesn't always come with someone's emphatic prayer or a little dab of oil on your forehead. For me, the single most significant turning point was one morning when our pastor spoke on the marriage relationship, describing how it is for companionship and care and protection of one another. A great sorrow swept over me and I thought, "Oh, just look at what I've missed, what I'm now... Read more