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No one says the word “failure” out loud, of course. No one would dare. But when marriage is the ideal that everyone is working toward, anything that falls short feels like you did something wrong.

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Recently, I was invited to participate in a panel on singleness at a Christian conference. I shared my experience as a single woman pastor and how single clergy can feel isolated in a church culture where marriage is the default. It was the first time since university that I had an honest, direct, public conversation about singleness in the church. 

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It is crucial that we women who don’t fit into the church’s too-neat “happily ever after” narrative share our stories. Because God sees our struggles and the church should too.

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“The Bible doesn’t say that men are the priests of the homes or heads of their households,” I told them. “It does say that husbands are the heads of their wives, but what does that actually mean?”

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Paul laments that the demands of family distract from serving the Lord; we teach that service to the Lord and the demands of family are one and the same. 

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As a single Christian woman in leadership, I often find that people are curious about my marital status.

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Fostering Relationships and Dialogue with Complementarian Friends: "My friend confided in me because she was 'tired — no, exhausted — of being single.'” 

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My roommate and I like to watch the TV show Friends. Correction—my roommate and I are addicted to the TV show Friends

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. . . The twelfth verse (italicized above) contains a rare Greek verb, found only here in the entire Bible. This word, authentein, is ordinarily translated “to bear rule” or “to usurp authority”; yet a study of other Greek literary sources reveals that it did not ordinarily have this meaning until the third or fourth century, well after the time of the New Testament. Essentially the word means “to thrust oneself.” Its earliest meanings are noteworthy, since they might provide a quite different understanding of a difficult text. 

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