Anxiously regulating what girls wear is not going to make this world better. But raising thoughtful people will. I believe God wants something better for us than fairytale witches and sexist dress codes.
Consent: a word so bland I once found it almost ugly. Why would I base my framework for romantic relationships on a word as flippant and perfunctory as a waiver to have my photo taken? Bodies and relationships are deeply important to me as a Christian. Naturally, sex is also deeply important to me. Even after I left purity culture behind, I still searched for a rich, God-honoring sexual ethic. Consent seemed like a pretty bare standard for behavior.
The way we use our power shouldn’t place other believers at risk. Power belongs to all in the body, not just a select few or a single group. We need to take practical steps to rebalance power in our churches and make them safer for those among us who, as of now, have less structural power and are more vulnerable to abuse.
No matter how well-meaning, and regardless of their views on gender, leadership, or theology, churches are almost never prepared to meet a victim’s needs. This is why I encourage churches not to go it alone when it comes to helping victims of abuse.
In holding men accountable, the #MeToo movement actually affirms men’s humanity—their ability to know and then choose right from wrong and to have healthy, mutual relationships with women. It also honors the good men who choose to treat others with equality and respect.
While the the #MeToo and #ChurchToo hashtags may be new, the abuse epidemic is not. The problem is not “out there”—that is, outside the walls of the church—but “in here,” something the church must reckon with as much as anyone in our world.