Try as we might, there is no way to equally share the joys and struggles of carrying a child, giving birth, and breastfeeding. When my husband and I were ready to grow our family, I wondered how we would be able to maintain our nontraditional gender roles and split work equally.
Not all tradition is bad; honoring the past can be a beautiful thing. Each of us gets to decide what traditions we do and don’t incorporate in our day. Yet, I do think egalitarian couples have a unique chance to challenge the typical wedding narrative.
A “husband trump card” can be an excuse to not do the important relational work of communicating with each other, compromising, and resolving conflict together. It can also foster a dangerous power imbalance in marriages, making husbands and wives opponents instead of partners.