Welcome to CBE’s Library

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CBE book club members reflect on their journeys with Defiant through the many questions we considered and the next steps that flowed from reading this powerful book.

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Last week, we published the first part of our interview with Kelley Nikondeha, author of our summer book club pick. We continue the conversation today and hear more about mutuality, freedom, and how readers have responded. (Part 2)

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This summer we are reading Kelley Nikondeha’s latest book Defiant. Kelley graciously agreed to let us get to know her a little better and hear more about the book from her perspective. (Part 1)

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Women's History Month is all about focusing on the ways women have been intregral players in history, whether we know about them or not. It's also a good time to stop and take note of our reading (or listening or watching) habits in terms of gender. Who are you reading regularly? Do you need to put some diversity in your to-read list?

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Do men want to date smart women? This was the question behind a 2015 study published by the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.1 What the study learned is that men like the idea of dating women who are smarter than them, but when they meet an actual woman who fits the profile, they suddenly become much less interested.

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It is crucial that we women who don’t fit into the church’s too-neat “happily ever after” narrative share our stories. Because God sees our struggles and the church should too.

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No one says the word “failure” out loud, of course. No one would dare. But when marriage is the ideal that everyone is working toward, anything that falls short feels like you did something wrong.

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Dating is difficult in today’s culture. As I have counseled single women and men through the years, I often heard pleas for help to find a Christian person to date. And let’s be honest. There are many different kinds of Christians. How does one get help to find a similar kind of Christian? One who values mutual submission and servant leadership in marriage?

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Consent: a word so bland I once found it almost ugly. Why would I base my framework for romantic relationships on a word as flippant and perfunctory as a waiver to have my photo taken? Bodies and relationships are deeply important to me as a Christian. Naturally, sex is also deeply important to me. Even after I left purity culture behind, I still searched for a rich, God-honoring sexual ethic. Consent seemed like a pretty bare standard for behavior.

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When Justin got down on one knee—on the day we chose months before—and opened the box to reveal the ring we picked out together, I didn’t feel a rush of dumbfounded amazement. But I didn’t miss that at all. The joyful expectancy of our special day was a tremendous gift—as was the chance to pour my energy into creative expressions of my love for Justin. He and I also kept our plans a secret from each other, so surprise still marked the day.

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