Life doesn’t come with a manual, and neither does marriage. Whether we’re making difficult decisions, entering new seasons, or dealing with unexpected changes, most of us married folks are just figuring it out as we go.
Doing life with your spouse can be tricky, especially in a culture that places unnecessary and unbiblical burdens on women. Thankfully, we can look to Scripture for tips on what a healthy, equal partnership Christian marriage looks like. Here are three reminders for egalitarian couples that have been extremely helpful to me on my own marriage journey.
1. Submit to Christ
Many Christians quote Ephesians 5:22-23 out of context, focusing only on the command for wives to submit to their husbands. First of all, this passage is already radical because it speaks...Read more
It’s been an agonizing couple of weeks for survivor Jules Woodsen. Woodsen was sexually assaulted by megachurch pastor Andy Savage in 1998, while he was serving as her youth pastor. On March 20, 2018, Savage released a statement admitting he had abused his power over Woodsen, and announcing that he would step down from his pastoral position at Highpoint Church. A few short days after Savage resigned, yet another prominent megachurch pastor was in the news. Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, has been accused of sexual harassment. That story is still unfolding.
It’s worth noting that both pastors received standing ovations from their congregations when they made a statement in response to the abuse allegations. Both churches claimed they took proper steps to a...Read more
There are more than a few women in the Bible and in church history who risked their lives for a godly cause. In this post, I look at three brave women who are not in the Protestant Bible. These women were, most likely, not even real people. They are legendary women with enduring and inspiring stories—stories that give us insight into the religious thoughts and aspirations of past generations—stories that deserve to be better known.
1. Judith of Bethulia in Judea
Judith was a heroic woman who has long been admired by both Jews and Christians. Her story is found in the book that bears her name and is included in Roman Catholic and Orthodox Bibles. It was also included in early editions of the King James Bible until it began to be published without the apocryphal (or de...Read more
Most of us—no matter our stance on gender roles or faith background—are stunned by the vast number of people demeaned by sexual abuse and harassment. Tragically, girls and women are abused at essentially the same rates inside and outside the church. It’s clear that complementarians and egalitarians alike must press toward humility, self-reflection, and an honest assessment of Christian complicity in gender-based violence (GBV).
Like many other Christians in the age of #ChurchToo, John Piper is searching for the root cause of GBV. He believes he has found it: egalitarianism.
In a recent Desiring God podcast entitled “Sex-Abuse Allegations and the Egalitarian Myth,” Piper argues that egalitarians are to blame for abuse of girls and women because we neglect God...Read more
If I asked you to imagine the Middle Ages, what would come to mind?
Most of us think of the Middle Ages as a time of ignorance and violence—the dark middle period between the glories of Rome and the light of the Renaissance. And like every historical era, the Middle Ages has its share of dark moments. But many remarkable people, including remarkable and influential women, lived during this period.
There were some spaces in the medieval Western church where women were free to write theology and have spiritual influence. Women were barred from the priesthood and the great universities that produced scholastic theology. But many women became well-known, admired, and influential in monastic life and through mystic theology.
For women’s history month, here are six medieval women...Read more
My denomination, The Evangelical Covenant Church (ECC), and many others have been ordaining women for decades. Yet, even churches in denominations that ordain women resist nominating or recruiting women for senior pastor positions. It’s often even more difficult for women of color to find pastoral positions.
Nevertheless, women of color called to pastoral ministry have found ways to navigate treacherous waters. Many have risen to positions of authority in my and other denominations. And, beyond the good work God has already done and is currently doing for women of color, we are confident that he will raise up still more to lead churches all over the world. God has big, beautiful plans for women of color, and for all women.
As a pastor and former church planter, I have met many rema...Read more
Dear Pastors,
Women live in a world where violence, oppression, and marginalization are the norm. Every day, we wake up to stories of abuse and assault. It’s not contained to Hollywood. We’re seeing abuse in all spheres of societies around the globe. And tragically, we’re also seeing it in the church, where we might expect women to be safest from violence and harassment.
This is the congregational context you’re preaching into, pastors. Statistically, you’re talking to an audience where at least 1 in 3 women have experienced physical or sexual violence during their lifetimes. You're preaching in the age of #churchtoo.
That’s why I’m writing this letter. Because what you’re teaching about gender roles is dangerous for women, and e...Read more
During Women’s History Month, and especially on International Women’s Day, we have a unique opportunity to correct the marginalization of women’s accomplishments and influence. Those blindspots exist in the church too, especially when it comes to women pastors. Women pastors are not a new phenomenon, but many Christians aren't aware that there is a long tradition of women pastors in the church.
Women in history were faithful to their pastoral callings—against all odds. Many pursued ministry against the cultural tide of patriarchy in the church. These tenacious women are a vital part of our Christian legacy. But also, when we celebrate women pastors in history, we open doors wide for women in ministry today. With that in mind, here are ten awesom...Read more
Recently, Relevant published an article on the importance of reading books by women (which has since been taken down at the request of readers). In the article, the male author began by lamenting the absence of women authors from his bookshelf. Inspired by the #metoo movement, he resolved to correct the omission of women’s perspectives by intentionally reading women authors.
At the recommendation of a bookstore clerk, he began his education with a supernatural fantasy romance novel written by a woman. While there is nothing inherently wrong with the romance genre, readers were quick to point out that stereotypically “feminine” romance novels aren’t the ideal choice to fulfill his goal—insight into women’s lives and experiences. Further, they added, wome...Read more
Every week, members of our small group Bible study share their “highs,” their “lows,” and how they’ve seen God this week. A couple of weeks ago, I co-led the group in a discussion on what it means to be both a Christian and a feminist. To begin, women in the group spoke openly about our “lows,” “highs,” and “how’s” of being a woman in the church.
Unsure how receptive the men in our audience would be, we opened with personal stories to ease them into the potentially tense conversation. Women told of being overlooked and undermined—both inside and outside the church. We voiced our collective anger at the structural sin of patriarchy. We read and discussed tweets from #thingsonlychristianwomenhear, #thingsonlyblack...Read more
