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From
the Editor
Welcome
to a brand new issue of E-Quality!
CBE's quarterly online newsletter has a
fresh, new look, but the content hasn't
changed. E-Quality will continue to
address topics related to biblical
equality, keep you updated on
ministry news, provide practical
advice from other readers, and much
more!
In honor of the
month of Valentine's Day, this issue is filled
with information
and practical help for living out an egalitarian marriage.
Mutually submissive marriages make life
more meaningful and fulfilling for both
partners, however even the most well
intentioned husbands and wives can sometimes
have
trouble implementing true equality into
their everyday lives.
In
their book, It Takes Two, Andrew and
Judith Lester point out that,
"Partners who value fairness and
are committed to an egalitarian
relationship are surprised by the extent
to which their relationship can be
invaded by traditional
stereotypes."
I have been
married just over a year and can already
attest to the truth of that
statement. During our engagement, Jim
and I agreed that our marriage would be
one of equal partnership. "Yes, we will make decisions
together." "Yes, we will both
have take part in managing our
budget." "Yes, of course we
will share the household duties."
But these things we'd agreed upon in
theory were somewhat difficult to put
into practice.
For example, Jim and I agreed
that I would be the primary chef. I had fun browsing through
recipe books and assumed that I would
enjoy cooking dinner for us each night.
When we got married, I was in school full-time, working
part-time and completing an internship; it didn't take long for
us to realize that it didn't make much
sense for me to be the primary chef.
In a marriage
dominated by traditional stereotypes, I
probably would have endured the kitchen,
seeing it as my wifely obligation. Instead I
was free and
encouraged to express my discontent and
Jim and I came to the conclusion
together that it made more
sense for him to serve as the family
chef. Now that I have graduated, we will
most likely
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reassess the situation,
taking into account my new schedule.
Egalitarian
marriages require constant communication
along with clarification and
re-evaluation of each partner's
responsibilities.
It's challenging work, and unless we are
proactive about it, it is very easy to miss
the opportunity to build a mutual
marriage full of creative
energy by falling into
traditional roles that might not make
sense for an individual marriage. But as
far as Jim and I are concerned, the
extra work is worth it. We enjoy each
other so much when we are content in the
individual duties of our marriage. Besides, if we hadn't assessed my
job as the chef, we'd be eating a lot more
Chef Boyardee and Jim may have never
discovered his talent for whipping up delicious
lasagna from scratch!
Please let me know how this
publication helps you and how I might
improve future issues. Or perhaps you
have an article you would like to
submit. If so, I encourage you to send
it in to jgaylord@cbeinternational.org
for review.
In
Christ's everlasting devotion,
Jessica
Gaylord
Editor
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It
Takes Two: The Joy of Intimate
Marriage is published by Westminster
John Knox Press; http://www.wjkbooks.com.
Phone: 800-227-2872; Fax:
800-541-5113. Also published by Westminster John Knox
Press are the titles: The
Promise of the Father, Welcoming But
Not Affirming, Blessed One, and Is
It I, Lord? All of these are
available for purchase from CBE's
bookstore, Equality Depot. To purchase
any of these titles, including It
Takes Two, visit Equality Depot at
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/bookstore/index.shtml.
It Takes Two: The Joy of Intimate
Marriage
Chapter 5: Who's
the Boss? Sharing Power and
Responsibility
(excerpt)
Many
couples who consciously want to live
in a marriage that gives both partners
equal rights struggle with social and
psychological pressures to function in
traditional hierarchical patterns.
Partnership marriages take more work
than traditional marriage and can
create more open conflict. The
resulting frustration can lead to
internal pressure to retreat into
traditional over/under types of
relating. Either partner might find it
easier to follow traditional patterns
to avoid an immediate conflict.
However, these frustrations can build
up and cause dissatisfaction.
Sara, a legal
assistant, and Jason, who worked for an
overnight delivery company, lived
together for 18 months before
deciding to marry, a decision they made
after Sara had been pregnant for five
months. They were committed to an
egalitarian relationship and were able
to find jobs that allowed them to share
in the care of their son. However,
making decisions about the care of their
son became more and more difficult.
Then, to their surprise, Jason's
feelings began to change. Though he
believed cognitively that child care
should be shared by husbands and wives,
Jason began to feel aggravated that he
had to spend so much of his free time in
child care. As he began to pull back
Sara began to feel both angry at Jason
and guilty about not spending more time
with their son. They came to a counselor
when they began planning for Sara to
quit her job and she recognized the
underlying resentment about the
unfairness of such a plan. They became
aware that "down deep" they
both thought child care was
"women's work."
For
the rest of this article:
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/E-Journal/t2p1.shtml.
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This article originally appeared in the Fall 1997 issue of
Marriage
Partnership, a publication of
Christianity Today International.
Elisa Morgan swings open her front
door with one hand while holding a
cordless phone in the other and,
without missing a beat in her
conversation, motions me inside.
Appropriately enough, I am meeting
Elisa and her husband, Evan, to profile
a busy, two-career couple.
In the kitchen, in the office, and
in raising their kids, Eva and
Ethan, the Morgans work diligently to
serve each other. For them, the
question isn't "Who's ahead, Evan
or Elisa?" but rather "Am I
helping my spouse reach his or her
God-given potential?"
For the rest of this article:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/7m3/7m3022.html.
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CBE
says Goodbye to a Treasured
Friend
MonicaMay LaLonde was "one of those
people who is just too good for this
world"
On
January 25, 2004, CBE grieved the
loss of a friend. MonicaMay LaLonde
was, as CBE president Mimi Haddad
described her, "one of those people who is just
too good for this world." Monica
was an active member of CBE and was in
the process of starting a chapter in New
Mexico. Friends of Monica plan to
continue her chapter work and name the New
Mexico chapter after her. Monica not
only served CBE in her lifetime, but
in her self-written obituary she
selflessly asked that people not only
remember her, but also to remember
CBE.
Here
are her words:
LaLonde, MonicaMay -- beloved wife,
aunt, sister, friend and child of God,
went to be with Jesus on January 25,
2004, at 3:15 p.m. She was born on May Day
1956 in Long Beach, Calif., and was raised in a
family of 10 kids in Lakewood, Calif. She had
a bachelor's degree in economics from UCLA and a
master's degree in business from Webster
University.
In 1982, she began her relationship with
Jesus and thus walked the rest of her days
with her Savior. In 1987, she moved to New
Mexico to be a part of a church plant sent out by
Hope Chapel, Hermosa Beach. Wally LaLonde
and Monica met in church and were married
in 1991. They enjoyed bicycling, the
fellowship of believers, and discussing
issues of justice, faith and God. Her
working career was spent in corporate
accounting, personal organization and
travel. She loved her many nieces and
nephews. She enjoyed art, gardening, and
discussing issues of the Bible and faith.
Monica did pet therapy, visiting cancer
patients with her gentle Chow Chow Mr.
Mao. She facilitated a PLTC
complementary medicine cancer support
group. Her eyes have been donated to the
New Mexico Lions Club Eye Bank and her body has
been donated to the University of New
Mexico.
She was most thankful for her
involvement with Christians for Biblical
Equality, an
organization that advocates for gender,
racial and socioeconomic equality in the
evangelical church. Monica requests that
donations to CBE be made in lieu of
flowers.
Monica's
husband Wally said, "CBE was such
a breath of fresh air for her. She was
about to just 'give up' when she got
connected with you. It was almost like
getting born again... again!"
We
at CBE want to honor Monica's life by
continuing to spread the message of
biblical equality; a message that was so
important to Monica. Would you
consider a gift to CBE in Monica's
memory? Or perhaps you would like to
give gift in honor of someone else who
is an important part of your life or
your understanding of biblical
equality. Please join with us to honor
God's faithful servants.
To make a donation visit the
following link: http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/help_cbe/online_contributions_safe.shtml.
Or mail your gift to CBE, 122 W.
Franklin Ave., Suite 218, Minneapolis, MN
55404.
Urbana
2003 was a Sketch of Biblical Equality
Milestones include first woman to
give biblical exposition
By Jaime Hunt
InterVarsity Christian Fellowship's
student mission convention, Urbana,
has been held every three years since
1946. However, the most recent
December convention made 2003 a
milestone year.
This year's delegation of
InterVarsity students was the most
ethnically diverse in the history of
the convention. About 39 percent of
the 19,000 students who attended the
convention were of non-white descent,
with Asian/Pacific heritage students
comprising 30 percent of the
delegation.
In addition, this year's 1,074 African
American students was the largest
number for that group in Urbana
history.
Follow
this link for the rest of the article:
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/E-Journal/feb2004urbana.shtml.
Follow
this link for results of the
survey mentioned in this article:
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/E-Journal/feb2004urbanaresults.shtml.
Spreading
the Word
Bringing CBE's vital message to the
world
By Jaime Hunt
The message of biblical equality is
vital to the Christian Church, but
thousands of believers have never
heard the truth of God's word as it
relates to gender. While CBE's mission
is to promote biblical equality, the
organization needs the efforts of
individuals in order to be
successful!
How can an average person make a
difference in this effort?
Follow this
link for suggestions:
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/E-Journal/feb2004spreading.shtml.
Follow this link for volunteer opportunities with CBE:
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/E-Journal/feb2004volunteer.shtml.
Special
Offer for New Members
Buy
books and pay less for membership!
Now through March 31, first-time
members will receive 20%
off the standard membership
fee with any purchase from CBE's
bookstore. New members will also receive
a member
discount of 15%
off all regular-priced books in the
order. We'll also send you a free
copy of the helpful booklet, Studies
on Biblical Equality.
Order any item(s) in the
bookstore, and then add a membership
to your order. Use coupon code
NEWMEMBER04 to receive 20% off your
membership fee! Once you've done that,
you can apply the 15% member discount
to the regular-priced items in your
order.
To
join online, go to www.cbeinternational.org.
You can also call us toll-free at
1-877-285-2256 and mention the reduced
membership offer.
Be
sure to act by March 31 to receive this special discount!
CBE
Holds a Symposium in England
CBE
is joining "Men, Women, and
God," and WATCH for a symposium in
Durham, England
A
symposium entitled, "Men, Women
and the Church: A Biblical Approach to
Relationships," will be held
Sept. 3-5, 2004, at St. John's
College, in Durham, England.
Plenary
speakers include N.T. Wright, Esther
Reed, David Instone-Brewer, Michele
Guinness and Elaine Storkey.
Workshop
speakers include Ellen Armstrong,
Mimi Haddad, Alison Wilkinson, Charles
Read, Christina Rees, Elisabeth
Goddard, and Valerie and Michael
Griffiths.
Enjoy
five general sessions and 15 workshops
plus fellowship and worship in one of
the most beautiful places in England!
To
find out more about the symposium
speakers visit: http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/events/UK_Conf/UK_speakers_bio.shtml.
Or
e-mail
conference@cbeinternational.org,
or call 612-872-6898 for more
information.
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CBE's bookstore has
a new name: Equality
Depot!
To celebrate, we are giving away CDs,
totebags, bookmarks and bumper stickers
with every order through March 15! Check
out the details below.
·
Every order - Free bookmark featuring
images from Dorothy Irvin's 2003 and
2004 calendars.
· Over $20 - Free CBE bumper sticker (a
$2 value!)
· Over $35 - Free CBE totebag (a $10
value!)
· Over $70 - Free CD sampler with five
audio tracks from CBE's International
Conference (a $15 value!)
(Member
discounts do apply to this sale. Free
gift is based on the total after
discounts are applied and before
shipping. Orders with downloads only do
not qualify. CD sampler is available
while supplies last. Sale ends March 15,
2004 .)
To take advantage of this sale visit:
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/bookstore/index.shtml.
Southern
Baptist Sisters
A
Book Review
By
Virginia Erickson
This
well-written short volume recounts the
plight of Southern Baptist women in
their desire to serve God through the
church. David Morgan concludes that
today's SBC women are in the same
position as in 1845, when the SBC broke
away from the American Baptist
Convention over the issue of slavery.
While other women have made advances,
SBC women have not.
Follow
this link for the rest of this review: http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/E-Journal/feb2004bookreview.shtml.
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Here are some of your responses to
the poll in our previous issue of
E-Quality which asked the question:
What
suggestions do you have for those
searching for an egalitarian church?
"First determine what's
important to you (i.e. equality in
marriage, female pastors, etc.). When
visiting a church, ask a pastor about
their position on the issues most
important to you....That would be a good
start."
"Don't be afraid of non-evangelical denominational churches.
Often, these churches have an
evangelical pastor and many evangelical
members. Typically, they include women
in leadership roles, and many accept
women as pastors."
"Look for a church that allows
women to minister in positions of
leadership. If a church simply has a
hired female "Children's
director"...do not assume it is an
egalitarian church, though this could be
an indicator. A much better indicator is
the presence of women on the church's
ruling councils -- Elders, Board, Deacons,
Session. When a church is open to having
women in these positions of
decision-making, the congregation as a
whole is more likely to be
egalitarian."
Now it's your turn. Please take a
moment to respond to our new poll asking:
In
your relationships with members of the
opposite sex (marriage, dating, etc.),
what are some concrete ways that you
have put egalitarian principles into
practice?
Just follow this
link: cbe@cbeinternational.org |
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"All
married couples should learn the art
of battle as they should learn the art
of making love.
Good battle is objective and honest --
never vicious or cruel. Good
battle is healthy and
and brings to marriage the principle
of equal partnership."
Ann
Landers
"A
good marriage is one which allows for
change and growth in the individuals
and the
way they express their love."
Pearl Buck
"A
great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes
together. It is when an
imperfect
couple learns to enjoy their
differences."
Dave Meurer
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Privacy
Statement:
Christians
for Biblical Equality [CBE] respects your
privacy. Any personal information we collect
will be used only internally to minister to
our customers and members more effectively.
Information regarding you, including your name
and address, will not be shared or sold to any
outside party.
If
you have questions or concerns regarding this
statement, please contact us at: cbe@cbeinternational.org.
Comments:
jgaylord@cbeinternational.org
Or write to: Christians for Biblical Equality 122 W.
Franklin Ave., Suite 218, Minneapolis, MN 55404
Phone:(612) 872-6898 Fax:(612) 872-6891
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